Kind and hilarious twin-mama of 3 year old girls Frankie and Harper, Meet Nikki. She is one straight shooting, bad-arse babe. Sharing her life online, no frills attached. Nikki talks to us about how she navigated the first few weeks of being a Mum, how she has found her stride as a solo-parent and the determination she got from her own epic mum.
How would you describe your mothering style?
I wish I could say “cool, calm and collected” but it’s probably more “fake it ‘til ya make it”
Tell us about the girls?
They’re INSANE but they are so much fun. They’re energetic, confident, polite and sassy.
It is pretty special having twins – do you get stopped in the street?
It was pretty constant when they were younger, not so much now. It’s quite cool the girls have started playing tricks on their kindy teachers and saying they’re each other which is great.
Talk to us about those early weeks – It’s not just the birth of your babies, but the birth of a mother. There is a great (underused) term Matrescene, coined by Anthropologist Dana Rafael - The process of becoming a mother, the identify shift and the physical and psychological changes that woman experience after childbirth. Do you think anyone could have prepared you for this?! (What has it been like, how you expected etc?)
I don’t think anyone could’ve prepared me for how much my life has changed since having the girls. I think the biggest thing for me was that I was no longer in control of everything that was happening to my body in terms of birth. I had a natural birth and I never knew how strong I was until then. The first few months were tough and I’ve always been quite open about my journey with Post Natal Depression. I still have my moments now where I struggle with finding my own identity apart from being a mother but I guess that just comes with solo parenting.
Three years deep, and now doing it solo, does it still feel like survival or have found your stride?
I’ve found my stride – I like to think anyway. They’re in day-care three days a week which has been amazing for them and myself. They still challenge me everyday but now that they’re older we have a routine.
The girls’ father is of Aboriginal decent, do you celebrate this side of their heritage?
I would love for the girls to know more about their Aboriginal heritage, their has only really started to learn more about his heritage in the last few years. We have purchased books about Dreamtime which is a nice way to incorporate more of the Aboriginal culture into their day to day life when we read them at bedtime.
Any words of comfort to a new mama who might be thinking that she is in a place darker than baby-blues?
Talk to your family and friends. Take them up on offers to take baby/babies for a walk while you have a shower or a nap. I promise it gets better.
Other mums (or women) that inspire you?
Hmmm, Ruby Tuesday Matthews, she is so amazing. My mum because MUM.
Let's talk about a life online. You have cultivated a following on the ‘gram, do you feel a pressure from that, or has sharing become habitual / instinctual?
I did earlier on because not everyone has something positive to say. I used to share a lot more on the gram about my personal life but when Frankie and Harper’s dad and I split I became a lot more private. IG can be a scary place but when you’re parenting on there it can be a risky business!
It is inevitable to scroll and compare (we ALL do it!) how do you keep a check on this? Do you curate who you follow? Any words of wisdom to some battling their own insecurities in that space?
Yeah, I am a shocker for this... I tend to go through every couple of weeks and have a unfollowing spree. I think I’ve aced the comparison stuff to a degree, I no longer follow people that make me think I’m not enough. I use IG more like Pintrest now, it’s more for inspo! I do love Instagram though haha.
Tell us about your mum
Christene, She’s a legend. She is strong, she is determined and she’s no bullsh*t. I love her endlessly.
How did your relationship change after you had the girls
I have more of an appreciation for my mum after becoming a mum myself. In saying that, we are very similar so we do butt heads from time to time. I’m always right and so is she in her opinion
What values did she instil in you that you hope to pass to on the girls?
I like to think I’m quite determined too. I’m strong willed and I hope Frankie and Harper continue to be the same. I’m very open and honest with my mum, I would really love to have the same relationship with them.
Let’s chat style, what do you look for in a handbag?
“Will I fit a bottle of Pamol. A packet of crackers and my phone in it?” Also will it go with all pairs of shoes I have because I usually roll with the same handbag until it wears out!
What drew you to the Gita handbag?
It is going to be a ME bag. I love it and it will fit in perfectly with the non-active activewear chic get up I aim for on the daily!